Confession from 傻瓜

Didn't write blog for a long time... Suddenly feel like to update it so I make up a decision to express my feeling within these few months into a simple note... Someone convinced me to accept the other people's love since she knows that I'm having interest on her... This sounds ridiculous for me because I know she had the same feeling to me. What is the obstacle that stands between us and separating us from attach to each other? I would like to reveal the answer, that's what we being heard for decades and been usual to it's meaning hidden in it, TIMING... Despite of feeling, environment, situation and characteristic matter, TIMING separated us to two edges, atmosphere and Earth core... I had grown older ad older but I'm still feel hopeless in front of loving matter... I mean, this kind of matter... I'm unable to confront her to have faith on me, it's my failure... Recently, I'm having hard feeling all the time... because I'm scare of her leave... More than just scare, it's terrifying... It's hard to find someone having all the condition that meet up my expectation... and she, just she, required all of it... She's unlike the other girls, her taste and characteristic are totally unique. She just exist in my life, like a gift from God... An unreplaceable gift ever in my life before... Fall in love on her might be a mistake and maybe I'm a moron like she said... but I would like to try out my luck... I have faith on her... I believe that I can make her feel touch by my expression of love and care to her. I hope I can be the last stand besides her... This is the first time and might be the last time for me to strike so hard for a girl. For many time, I'm trying to fall in love to someone and this is first time I don't even have to force myself to express my love to someone... Furthermore, I make the first move all the time... Secretly, I found something related to her and I might know her move... but I'm not scare of getting hurt... It's because I really fall in love on her... She told me that I might get hurt and don't even know how to recover from it... I know, I really know... But I'm willing to get hurt, just because of her... The moment she read this article, she might had hurt me badly... but I hope she found her real happiness... I won't force her... I don't want to force my beloved to make any hard feeling decision... As long as I'm exist in her heart, I'll feel worth for everything I'd done. 小贝, I love you... No matter what kind of decision that you are going to make or what kind of damage you are going to inflict on me, I'll just receive it... As long as you are happy with your decision... If this is a endless story, I'll keep it as one piece of my memory for the rest of my life... If it's a happy ending, I'll promise you with my entire life that I'll treat you as my most precious treasure on the world and make you be the happiest woman on the world... Promise means promise, I wont take back my words...